My Pen

My pen is my resistance. With my pen, I seek to create a picture that stirs action. With my pen I can challenge all ideas and concepts that seek to classify me as less than. With my pen, I can construct a vision of blackness that is not plagued with despair and hopelessness. My pen is free of the societal constraints that seek to entangle me. My pen is my instrument that I use to try and inspire an audience. Also, my pen provides me hope in the midst of obstacles and struggles. My pen paints a picture of a future that I am working towards. My pen does not know doubt. It is unrealistically optimistic and it is my pen that keeps me free.

The Struggle of Trying to Be

It is never easy when you attempt to be better. It does not matter what the idea of better represents for you- the presence of obstacles will be there. We seem much more comfortable with complacency and the idea that to strive is worthless. This is all while others try to lock us into who we might have been or constantly remind us of mistakes that we might have made. Trying to escape and capture a fleeting yet beautiful picture of what might be is the plight of us all. However, we cannot allow the negativity and cynicism of society or others to block us from the dreams that rest in our hearts. No, we must struggle to be, because whenever that struggle ends, the freedom that we dream of becomes simply a prison of what might have been.

Why?

Why is there no response to the Tea party and its brand of politics? It seems that truth cowers in the face of evil. At times I grow frustrated with the way that certain ideas gain traction and are allowed a space in the public discourse. While other radical ideas and voices are isolated or treated as though they don't exist. However, it does beg the question, "where are the voices that are not concerned with anything other than the truth?"-those voices that are not waiting for validation from the system, but are willing to create alternative pathways to express their message. I just wonder while I am sitting in classrooms, in sanctioned systematic safe spaces, is the war passing me by?

Class

Being black in America has always presented an added barrier to the realization of the American dream. However, as I look back at my childhood, I realize that the issue of poverty was a larger detriment to my stability as a youth. It was the inability to secure the goods that provided for a way of life that allows for potential to flourish. It is the burden of poverty that I seek to break from. It is the presence of poverty that pushes me to better myself at all cost. So although my blackness is a source of pride and produces a set of obstacles that are difficult to deal with, I must be honest when I say that the issue of class has defined my existence with a greater emphasis up to this point.

Is America trying to Kill me?

There are times when I feel like America is trying to kill me. I feel that this way of life is detrimental to my health and that the rat race has deadly consequences for those who want something more. For those who seek to ignore or resist the material trappings or capitalistic toys that divert our attention from the atrocities that characterize so much of American life. However, it is vital that I proclaim that I am not waving the righteous flag seeking to be comforted by the blanket of arrogance that surrounds those who find security in the belief that their way of life is more dignified than others. No, I am simply wrestling with the feeling that there must be something more. The feeling that poverty and pain for the masses are not things that I must become adjusted to in order to survive. Anything that forces me to become an acquaintance of evil must be wrong, right? And don't I have an obligation to stand and resist all attempts that try to normalize evil and rationalize injustice? I guess I am just wondering out aloud.

No Name

The feelings of powerlessness that characterized my youth are still prisons that seek to confine me as an adult. The limited free spaces that I enjoyed as a child have made it difficult to envision freedom. I am still thinking that the helpless state that infected my childhood years is doomed to be the dominant theme of my life. The psychological cages of the past are difficult to break forth from. However, that is my mission: to continue to live, thrive and create freedom- to kill the silent ghost of the past that tries to hold a place in the emerging picture of who I am seeking to become.The journey continues to not let the past recreate itself in the choices that define the direction of my future.

The Question of Change

I think we all want to change the world. The question is, "how do we make that happen?" How do we turn individual aspirations into collective action? Can we give ourselves over to a cause or idea larger in scope than the immediate and sometimes trivial concerns of the daily realities of life?

What Would Jesus Say? The Question of Capitalism

As America is in the midst of a devastating economic crisis that has swept away jobs and has left the country struggling with an uncertain future. As people lose their jobs and are struggling to find a way to maintain hope in the midst of a seemingly hopeless situation, I ask the question, "What Would Jesus Say?" Would he sanction an economic system that has caused such destruction in the world? A system that preaches rugged individualism and ignores the suffering of others? This cannot be what Jesus would stand for could it? This is a critical question for a supposed religious country. How can we profess to follow the teachings of Christ and yet embrace an economic system that is seemingly soulless? A system that preaches individualism for the masses but adopts a policy of welfare for big businesses. The blatant hypocrisy is disheartening. To bear witness to such injustice and to try to come to grips with so much suffering is difficult. So I ask the question, " is this a system that Jesus would sanction?" Would he accept capitalism as a righteous economic vehicle for America? Or would he say that it caters to the worst in people and allows for selfishness and disregard for others to be rewarded and cherished. I pose this question to America as we often times cloak ourselves in religious arrogance. The reality of our choices may not reflect the righteousness of our ideas. As opposed to bringing Christ to others, maybe we should discover if we know him for ourselves.

A Question of Strength

Is the idea that I can do it all alone a mask for those who have been hurt and are afraid to be vulnerable? It seems that, in the African American community, we have been conditioned to believe that to do it all alone is the only way because to put trust in others leaves us susceptible to the wounds that can be only be inflicted by those we love the most. We have become a people hardened and unable or unwilling to trust for fear that we will be let down and crushed by disappointment that occurs with raised expectations. However, the ability to be vulnerable is the essence of strength because it highlights the reality that we are still open to love, and that the hurts and frustrations have not allowed us to be broken and embittered by the failings of others. The time is now to abandon the facade that we can walk alone and that we do not need anyone. The truth is that our willingness to examine our hurts and deal with the issues is a pivotal step towards collective liberation. Only when we begin to expose our vulnerabilities, will we operate from a position of true strength instead of allowing the idea of strength to become a self-imposed prison that keeps us isolated from the love we need to restore our individual and collective souls.

Hip Hop- an "Easy Target"

So many times, the critique of hip-hop is limited in scope because it does not take into account the fact that hip-hop is a sub-culture heavily influenced by larger American ideas. The pervasiveness of misogyny and violence are emphasized because these are staples of American culture. American society is firmly planted on the ideals of patriarchy and violence. These values can be traced back to the formation of this broken democracy. So it is hypocritical to continually attack the contradictions that characterize so much of hip-hop. If we are honest, we could see that America, if nothing else, is a contradiction. A country that espouses freedom and yet has a bloodied past that is connected to the enslavement and persecution of those who were categorized as different. These points are not highlighted to let hip-hop off the hook. It is simply to force us to look at the larger social forces that contribute and influence the themes that pervade the music. It is easy to criminalize blackness and label hip-hop as this evil entity that is destroying our youth. However, it is much harder to critique and challenge the larger social vices that contribute to the destruction of our youth through distorted messages and corrupting ideas. We must be vigilant, challenge evil on all levels, and refrain from directing all our ire at the easiest of targets.

Invisible People

In 2010, it seemed that African Americans still struggled to be visible in a society and culture that praises those that seek to ignore their blackness and embrace the idea of a colorless society. Those who seek to view their experiences through the prism of blackness are viewed as troublemakers and prisoners to a turbulent history unable to recognize that America has transcended the entanglements that defined so much of the past. The question remains,"If I still see racism and the way that blackness is criminalized and categorized as different, am I wrong?" Why is it that those who ignore their blackness or define it as inconsequential are rewarded and praised as progressive? Are the wounds of black people invisible? Do they not register on the collective conscious of America? It seems that we are still invisible, only gaining visibility by our willingness to shed our blackness and aspire to normalcy which in American society is whiteness. How long will we accept a system that forces us to keep our sufferings silent and our anger muted? We must continue to bring the beauty of blackness into the cultural landscape of America.