shit

Shit, looking for hope finding dead ends. Ends of ropes dangle as noose's around the necks of those who have run out of gas at the dead end. Endless misery connects with the consciousness of the paltry in faith or is faith simply justification. The means of more seem like more nonsense. Shit I am looking but could not pinpoint what is in the meaning of the search. As seekers search and find themselves frustrated by the blank canvas.

hate

It is difficult to not hate. As hate has become the vehicle for the keeping it real crowd. As the crowd for positivity dwindles my hope dwindles. You see the bus of hate stays full regardless of ride free zones so some content to stay in the zone of hate. As the offensive words of liberation have difficulty penetrating. I understand the shine of others can leaves in the shade of our own unfulfilled desires so then we desire justification for hate.

grey purposes

The life of non-committal attachments. I can't commit to choices simply because black and white answers provide you a context by which to understand your life. No, I would rather live in the grey or exist in the grey for my own purposes.

shallow pool

It seems difficult for us to go deep so we wade in the shallow pool of ignorance. Truthfully, maybe it is not ignorance but apathy. As apathy seems to be form fitting and the designer of choice for this generation. So, those seeking a deeper understanding are left standing alone.

the struggle up close.

It is difficult to see the struggle up close. As family members don't graduate from highschool. As the struggle is seen up close. It is close but I am far from a solution.  Even the concept of I and what I can do seems narcisstic. Are we not all responsible for our steps? Side stepping failure seems to be the goal we some at least it is for the niggas that are not goaless.

cooning the art-form

Damn, cooning has become an art form. The birth of cooning was concieved in the womb of white supremacy. So supreme is it's reach that some have been reaching for white acceptance since birth. No, there will be no new birth of conciousness as long as we pro-create in the sheets of whiteness.

Outside the lines

Outside the lines. I always wanted to exist outside the lines because the life felt like a construct. And how can I construct a new reality seeking to live inside the lines of another person painting? And I am paint my own truth or simply tracing the experiences of another?

discovery

Damn, I just discovered I was in a war with Self-Righteousness. I feel strongly that I have affirmed my narrative at the expense of openness to the reality of others. Wow, he convinced me of my rightness of even that rightness should be pursued. Why does it seem like I am locked into waging wars against constructs that fail so desperately?

At times

At times I feel like a professor standing in the midst of a tsunami of indifference. And yet I wonder if for previous professors I was apart of the gulf of indifference that may have drained them. At times the realization that countless students with heads on desk and hands attached to smart phones is threatening to disconnect my belief that this can be transformative. Truthfully, what has been transformed? Other than positions! Yeah I have been placed in a new position but the position of seemingly a reluctance at being served something that you have no interest in has not be removed. So, I am moved to ponder retreat from this place that has seem to lost reality with a higher purpose. And my purpose for this prose is sympathy just these are just my words and simple recollections.