back to basics

The court is in session and it seems that we will resort back to a court where black and brown people will be back to being exploited by the game of mass incarceration. They incarcerate in order to lacerate any possibilities of liberation.

projections

Do people love of simply the projections they place on you. You are not real to most just a figment of their imaginations. As they imagine what their life would be with the projected you. You see we are seemingly invisible because what is visible distorts projections and projections soothe the souls of those constantly looking for something.

my place

This can't be life. Nah, this is it as notions that it can't be are only possible when you feel that you deserve more. I am not sure that is the case. Shit I am not sure what I am sure of and truthfully that is always been my place.

we write

We write hoping that our words will cement the legacy that lived lives will not. Not in some bleak realization. Only in the sense that in the midst of the real shit, shit is bleak. Bleak outlooks as you grow older and realize death is on the horizon.

false claims

Claiming purity but steadily losing purity contest no contest I am fucked. Fucked, not in a depressing sense just in the sense that I can't get right. Righteousness, seems to be out of my reach so I reach for a brokenness that seems more authentic.

screaming

Screaming for something to believe in. There are limits to intellect. Limits to the questions of questioning everything. Everything is up for grabs as I try to grab for something beyond the pale of the accepted. Looking for everything and finding nothing.

paychecks

Paychecks can't come soon enough. Soon enough anxiety about going under will be replaced by temporary relief. Relief is really only temporary so temporarily paychecks will provide opportunities to check out. As we constantly check out checking accounts as diminished checking accounts account for frustration. Yeah, frustration is real as truth be told paychecks can't come soon enough.

conditional

Love seems so conditional. Love contingent on behaviors that make others feel good. I guess its good riddance to the notion that I will be accepted scars and all. All this time consumed in concealers covering up that which is broken.

scars heal

I think childhood scars might never heal. So, I simply learn concepts of love through brokenness. This is not a pity party piece because I am not the only one in pieces looking for peace. Peace is not real is seems like chaos or the painful feeling that there is more out there but one will never grasp it because that would require something more concrete then a feeling or idea.