Outside the lines

Outside the lines. I always wanted to exist outside the lines because the life felt like a construct. And how can I construct a new reality seeking to live inside the lines of another person painting? And I am paint my own truth or simply tracing the experiences of another?

discovery

Damn, I just discovered I was in a war with Self-Righteousness. I feel strongly that I have affirmed my narrative at the expense of openness to the reality of others. Wow, he convinced me of my rightness of even that rightness should be pursued. Why does it seem like I am locked into waging wars against constructs that fail so desperately?

At times

At times I feel like a professor standing in the midst of a tsunami of indifference. And yet I wonder if for previous professors I was apart of the gulf of indifference that may have drained them. At times the realization that countless students with heads on desk and hands attached to smart phones is threatening to disconnect my belief that this can be transformative. Truthfully, what has been transformed? Other than positions! Yeah I have been placed in a new position but the position of seemingly a reluctance at being served something that you have no interest in has not be removed. So, I am moved to ponder retreat from this place that has seem to lost reality with a higher purpose. And my purpose for this prose is sympathy just these are just my words and simple recollections.

Black Lives Matter

Yeah, this slogan sounds empowering but are we truly empowered by words? As it seems words and the voices that continually articulate black pain are ignored. Or we are told that it is our fault. Is the system capable of seeing fault in white supremacy or does it supremacy remain unchallenged? I am challenged to find hope when hope for black humanity to be recognized seems like a shot in the dark as shots in the dark seem to be leave black bodies lifeless. Life is valuable but in this world is seems like there is a hierarchy in regards to the lives that matter. So again black lives matter but truthfully does anyone really believe that?

Black- Ish

The debate about blackness has become stale. Whether it is those that feel it is there job to preach tough love through the lens of white respectability or if it is Blacks nationalist talking about the system and how it allows no room for personal responsibility thus everything is white people's fault. These tired positions are pointless and I wonder how many blacks are actually listening? How can we have new discussions about the black reality? Or do we have to accept the fact that there is no black reality that can serve as the monolithic foundation by which to address problems.

Fight Back

It is only human to fight back. This is why I resist the trappings of a full frontal embrace of non-violence. I reject the language that oppressors have allowed for the oppressed. There opinion on how we get free is irrelevant. Tupac, was brilliant in his assessment that Only God Can Judge Me. This means my actions do not exist in a worldly confines. So, I will not pacify myself or look to be consoled by those that are bringing hell to the oppressed people of the world. The weakness of those that suffer under the sting of oppression is that they still seek the approval of an entity or system that will never love the oppressed .The system is incapable of Human responses. Fuck! Time to Fight Back!

Never Enough

In a capitalistic system. The game is rigged so that there is never enough. You see we work ourselves into the ground. However, every paycheck highlights that there is not enough. We continually come up short. Believing that running on a rat trap is somehow freedom. Again, I say Fuck Capitalism. It corrodes and causes sickness. So, I say that in the midst of realizing that there will never be enough in a systems that relies on that premise. I left with no other alternative but to recognize that resistance is the only choices for those who have no had there humanity sold. Fuck Capitalism

Fuck Capitalism

I say Fuck Capitalism! Fuck the way that it forces me to live. I am not interested in a cog-like existence but what else is there. The means that will allow me to live are in the hands of capitalist. This realization leads me to the belief that I will forever have an adversarial relationship with capitalism. I cannot accept this notion that life should be relegated to time clocks. Where my worth is connected to my ability to be productive. Productive in the sense that I am making wealth for someone else or spending my income that again makes someone else rich. So, I am anti-capitalist. My response to capitalism is a human response. It is evil that has been unleashed on the world and resistance to its evil proliferation is ultimately human. Fight Back. Fuck Capitalism

out of words

I might be out of words. I am blessed with the chance to speak and engage in the world of ideas. The reality is that maybe I have no interest in talking forever. That these problems will exist because they are conditional to this existence. Or more conditional to this existence in the abstract. My life, the limits of my experience can be something radically different. However, how do I understand that difference? How can I make my life different? This is the fundamental question. It is not about what I can convince others to do but what I am willing to do myself? To not hide under the masquerade of the crowd. The crowd has capacity to simply make fear seem courageous To make conformity to a life that yields nothing other than survival as the goal or the limit of what we get from this life. What does it mean to want more? How do you get there?