Wednesday, June 18, 2014
I think I was looking for something. Wow, a weird sentence that may lack conciseness but it reflects truth. It reflects the my journey. The search for something to interrupt the mundane. To feel something even if it flees before it presence becomes normal. I search for so many things in the midst of so many distractions. But to grasp that which is real is the goal. I crave that which is authentic in a land of fabrication. Maybe, I am the phony? Have I truly grasp anything that I truly wanted or have I simply settled for that which has found its way into my arms.
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
Why do people suffer? I am not sure there is an answer for that. At least not one that soothes my soul. It seems to manifest on every corner as people have ended up in places of pain. I can't justify pain. So, I am not content with personal choices and accountability being the hallmark of why things work for me and maybe not for others. There is nothing special about me. It is precisely this myth that allows for me to sleep through the pain emanated from street corners .
There is craziness in that cleaned up spills still leave the residue of stains. Some stains remain ingrained in the fibers. With every fiber I struggle to remain hopeful. Hoping that eternal tales of a better life are not more lies that serves as a subsitute for present day change.
It is difficult to live on someone Else's soil. You see at times it feels like blackness is forever homeless. Are we doomed to be nomads? I crave soil that feels familiar, that loves me. Am worthy to be loved? Or will the stories I have been told about blackness confine me? It can be so confining looking for free territory in conquered lands. As those lands are littered with the landmines of indifference. Even the language of god seems to be filtered through white ink and as it dries on my backdrop the question becomes how could I not love them? How could not covet their privilege? How could whiteness not become the dominant themes that set the tone for what I define as acceptable?