Anger seems to be the only emotion I can get to. Wonder in the symphony of life if I get live in a different key? I wish I had more answers. I wish that I even knew what needed to be solved. I am puzzled by the game of life as I can't seem to find the corners.

Prisons.. Prisons... Prisons everywhere I look I see prisons

lost hours

I lost so many hours wishing I could get an hour back. Back in time where possibilities still made sense as I attempt to make sense of impending frustration. I am frustrated that I can't grow wings and fly to better days as days move by clocks I don't own. So, I am owned by the hands of others as my hand construct monuments to nothing.

Way to Live

Is this the only way to live? You see, the confines of the cage are the problem. I see the cage. Thus, I see the prison that I was born into. I can't be free simply by wishing it anymore than prey can pray to be the predator. Predatory ideas about salvation solve, for some, the depression of the unknown. I am not interested in being saved. I just don't want to be condemned.

Grasp

I can't grasp how finite this is. It is crazy that we will all have an unknown finish line. Is there a long line? Or does the reality of my exit remain closer that it appears? As I peer into the past with regret and relief unaware of the future.

Notion

The notion that shit does not work out! Harsh truths that lead me to work out because body composition is something that I am convinced I can control. Limited controls of the game of life, so life is spent in the vicarious visions of what others do.

Wearefucked

Consciousness can't swim in shallow pools. As pools of simplicity simply choose to ignore the precarious position that humanity sits-in. Sit-ins stall as attention spans can't last the length of a commercial. Commercial consumption is the drink of choice. Multiple choices for liberation seem to be a way of the past as standardized tests become the common core for humanity. "Wearefuc***"

UP

Damn, they did not want to grow up. Up, to get it requires efforts and most make efforts to stay young forever. Forever running away from responsibility. So, who is responsible for a community's broken  pieces and broken people seek to put themselves back to gather with broken pieces. As calls for peace fall on deaf ears; ears drilled with messages of youth lasting forever. Not youthful innocence. Innocence seems lost in the midst of tough stares and bruised ego's.

Illusion

The power of the powerful is an illusion. Conscious eyes have the ability to see reality from a lucid perspective. How do you understand the struggle? Or do you simply struggle to see your part in the revolution that needs to take place?

Autopilot

The vehicle of capitalism created autopilot. As the pilot of our lives becomes profit, we are forced to find pimps for our labor. Laboring in vain to earn enough to feel. Does anyone feel that something is wrong? Feeling wronged does not produce answers, sadly it's enough to know. You see, you can know the destructive nature of autopilot -that does not mean you can change it.

KEEP

Lost. It Is crazy how everything is lost. We lose moments. So from moment to moment, we are aware of the fragile nature of trying to keep. So,maybe sanity will simply be another thing lost? To enjoy those things that you will eventually lose is a losing battle because you must do battle with the notion that you will forever be able to keep.

Damn

Damn, it is surprising that we are still surprised at the rise of white supremacy. Supremacy is a sustained system that seeks to secure salvation for the supreme. So, I am not in awe of that which is conditioned to breakdown the bones of thugs who are deemed dissident. Dissent is all that is left while most choose to stay right of the conflict convinced that choice makes them right in the eyes of God.

Never

Never become a victim of self-righteousness. Victimization is simply an attempt to explain. All attempts to explain seem futile. Futility is such a part of the life. As drinking or the weed induced coma's construct the good life. Life is neither good nor bad. It simply is a force that will be here one day and gone the next.

Photoshop

Life has no photo shop. As we shop for images that will project images of affirmation and acceptance. Acceptance; we are trained from the beginning that we are not okay. Ok, so now it makes sense why so many would seek a touch up to the foundation that they have been told since the beginning is ugly. Shit, ugly lies can poison the beautiful truth. Truth; this funny word with complex meaning. What is the meaning? Conformity breeds callousness as we careen towards conformity.

crazy

Damn, I am lost. It is crazy that Lost Boyz seek to find manhood with no compass. Shit can a compass guide back to destinations unknown. What is known, I could not answer that. I all know is that I search in the artistic footprints of others. Others hold keys of acceptance because acceptance seems like something I am incapable of giving self. Shit, maybe this is just another form of self-sabotage. Sabotage, is sin soaked cause it is vain but self-importance flows through veins so I am cracked vessel.

fuck

Fuck, is simply a word, nigga is simply a word but words injure. Really do words injure or do they simply highlight the fact that we are perpetually wounded. Open wounds of life produce scar tissue. As tissues are not enough to stop tears of limitations. We are told there are no limits but the existence seem to construct prisons that imprison.

shit

Shit, looking for hope finding dead ends. Ends of ropes dangle as noose's around the necks of those who have run out of gas at the dead end. Endless misery connects with the consciousness of the paltry in faith or is faith simply justification. The means of more seem like more nonsense. Shit I am looking but could not pinpoint what is in the meaning of the search. As seekers search and find themselves frustrated by the blank canvas.

hate

It is difficult to not hate. As hate has become the vehicle for the keeping it real crowd. As the crowd for positivity dwindles my hope dwindles. You see the bus of hate stays full regardless of ride free zones so some content to stay in the zone of hate. As the offensive words of liberation have difficulty penetrating. I understand the shine of others can leaves in the shade of our own unfulfilled desires so then we desire justification for hate.

grey purposes

The life of non-committal attachments. I can't commit to choices simply because black and white answers provide you a context by which to understand your life. No, I would rather live in the grey or exist in the grey for my own purposes.

shallow pool

It seems difficult for us to go deep so we wade in the shallow pool of ignorance. Truthfully, maybe it is not ignorance but apathy. As apathy seems to be form fitting and the designer of choice for this generation. So, those seeking a deeper understanding are left standing alone.

the struggle up close.

It is difficult to see the struggle up close. As family members don't graduate from highschool. As the struggle is seen up close. It is close but I am far from a solution.  Even the concept of I and what I can do seems narcisstic. Are we not all responsible for our steps? Side stepping failure seems to be the goal we some at least it is for the niggas that are not goaless.

cooning the art-form

Damn, cooning has become an art form. The birth of cooning was concieved in the womb of white supremacy. So supreme is it's reach that some have been reaching for white acceptance since birth. No, there will be no new birth of conciousness as long as we pro-create in the sheets of whiteness.

Outside the lines

Outside the lines. I always wanted to exist outside the lines because the life felt like a construct. And how can I construct a new reality seeking to live inside the lines of another person painting? And I am paint my own truth or simply tracing the experiences of another?

discovery

Damn, I just discovered I was in a war with Self-Righteousness. I feel strongly that I have affirmed my narrative at the expense of openness to the reality of others. Wow, he convinced me of my rightness of even that rightness should be pursued. Why does it seem like I am locked into waging wars against constructs that fail so desperately?

At times

At times I feel like a professor standing in the midst of a tsunami of indifference. And yet I wonder if for previous professors I was apart of the gulf of indifference that may have drained them. At times the realization that countless students with heads on desk and hands attached to smart phones is threatening to disconnect my belief that this can be transformative. Truthfully, what has been transformed? Other than positions! Yeah I have been placed in a new position but the position of seemingly a reluctance at being served something that you have no interest in has not be removed. So, I am moved to ponder retreat from this place that has seem to lost reality with a higher purpose. And my purpose for this prose is sympathy just these are just my words and simple recollections.